"Honest luv makes one's soul a reflection of the partner's moods. -Jan. 01, 2005
And as a room seems larger when lined wif mirrors, so do the joys becum amplified.
And as the individual items in the room becums less clear and sharp, so does the pain diminish and fade, spread thin by the sharin.
That is the beauty of honest, true love, whether in passion or frenship. A sharing tht multiplies the joys and thins the pain."
In My Place... I'm Walking Away
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Outside Revisited
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Im On The Outside, and I'm Lookin In...
Rain is often associated with sadness. Melodramatic.. to sum even romantic. Yet... rain often evoke strong memories for me. Memories not associated with fallin in love or a romantic walk in the rain with an umbrella. Or even standing in the rain, facing the sky feelin the rain wash over your face, mixing with the tears so that no one can see that you are cryin. Its symbolic for me. Dark clouds coverin the otherwise blue sky, bringin in the darkness. Then it rains. When the rain stops, rays of sunlight shines through...
There are moments when I feel @ peace. When I am ridin.. or even sittin all alone in the middle of the nite. Always thinkin. Thinkin is sumthing that I always do. Plannin my future, always lookin for solutions to my problems. Of havin a better life. Bein a better person. Its like I am always finding the pieces of a grand jigsaw puzzle that i cant see. Reconnecting the dots, always lookin for sumthing to fit tht open piece of a puzzle. Wisdom, intelligence, compassion.
One thing always leads to another. Everytime I thought i hav found the answer, I would realize tht each answer would lead to yet another question. Life is never dull for me. Well, my life tht is.
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A Phantom In The Nite
Friday, March 23, 2007
Its been close to four years I've ridden my phantom.
In that span of fours years, I've grown accustomed to my ride. I used to ride an SP150, TA200 and finally a CB400. There were other rides tht I've tested too, CBR400 RL and RN, Kawa636 and even a Blade1000 series. One thing tht i've learned, is tht comfort is a very important factor.
My ride hav gone thru many modifications. Groundin, xhaust and even a cosmetic overhaul. I guess they say tht the ride is a reflection of the rider. Maybe its true. Always, when washin my bike or tweakin here and there, I can see many scars and dents of my ride. Sure, its still shiny and my TA still retain its custom shotgun everytime I close my throttle (thx to my mechanic for tht xhaust mod) but i can see tht the years hav begun to take its toll of wear and tear.
My xhaust is scarred. Its been a couple of times I self-skidded. Most of the time it was because of hidden patch of oil on the road or even debris. I've been thru many episodes of road rage. Namely those cars tht think they are drivin motorbikes instead of cars. Or those drivers that delights in blindin the riders wif mods like Zeon Lights and high beamin right behind me.
Four years. There were often times I feel like ditchin my ride for a bigger, bad ass bike. Namely a Superforce or Shadow. But good sense coupled wif shallow pockets make me recant tht decision. Sure, who doesnt want a powerful ride? But remember wht spidey always said, "Wif Great Power Cums Great Responsibility" but for a rider like me, its more like "Wif Great Rides Cums Greater Injuries"
So far I've been fortunate tht most road mayhap often occured when I ride alone. Even lately, I've becum less reckless and less prone to speedin. Haha.. but i've gotten into another bad habit, namely pluggin my ear wif my mp3 phone when I ride alone. But hey, if a car can blast its audios wif the windows up and still be LEGAL, why not me? At least I dun blast my earphones. In fact, I feel tht it helps me ride more safely as I rely more on my eyesight. (check blindspots more often)
Lets see... i believe my Earth Angel requires time for an xtensive overhaul. Brake fluids to top up, air filter to change, Interior Engine overhaul, Cone bearin to change and Engine to tune. Total cost... well... i dun wana knw YET.
I've always wanted to install side bags. Now tht I'm returnin back to the path of education, I need the xtra cargo space. 2007 hav brought many changes in me. i've begun hittin the weight regiments again. Did many things that I've left hangin years ago. I sincerely hope tht I can finally brought tht chapter of darkness to a final closure.
Yet.. like they always say. The more things change, the more they stay the same. One thing tht never changes... is my passion to always be in motion, always ridin in the nite. Here, on the road, let it be drizzlin or the light fails, I knw I am goin sumwher. I am free. You. Always you...
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Time To Step Up
Friday, March 16, 2007
Its almost been a year i've been @ ED.
In tht brief moment of time, I've discerned a disturbin pattern. Are Singaporeans gettin sicker? Or perhaps there's a new sickness. Its called sick of werk. Its like a domino effect see. Honestly, hw many of us hav intense passion for our werk? Overwerked and underpaid. In order to maintain our 'competetiveness' an employee must know how to multi-task. In layman's term means a good werker muz be able to handle a 3 person's job, be totally independent, self-reliant and knw how to short-cut (read efficient, werk smart not werk hard)
No thanx to tht STUPID article that was printed on THe STrait Times wif the headlines "No More Excuses!" When an exployee is overtaxed, increased stress levels, resentment and burnout is definately the norm. This leads to higher frequency of fallin sick and takin MCs. This leads to other colleagues havin to shoulder the xtra burden @ the werkplc. And this in turn leads to tht person whose coverin that mc person to fall sick and take mc on other days too. The cycle goes on and on. Werker satisfaction starts to decline dramatically thus resultin in higher turn over rate. Of course, juz becoz an employee is able to do 3 jobs simultaneously doesnt mean tht person get three times the pay.
Overwerk and underpaid. Welcum to the werkin class of the majority in SG. And everytime there's school holidays or the eve of holz and after it... my God. One can just come down to ED to see how jam-packed the patients there and how long the que @ Reg counter.
And no thx to other clinics... when they feel overburdened... hey no problem. Presto! Referral letter to ED and the poor pt still hav to cough up sum dough for 'consultation fee' WTF!
Things are really gettin harder and busier @ ED. Low man power due to high turn over rate. Increased in patient traffic and equipment on deterioration. Yesterday was a TOTAL nightmare to me. Its Thurz for gods sake yet the traffic was like on a Mon mornin. To make matters worse the comp decided it was April Fools day. The mouse dancing Step Up all over the monitor, frequent laggin and many times just dump me out of the system when I was in the middle of registering all the pt's demographic data. No help when the patients and their god damned relatives started using their eye power on me as though wif their eye power they can hasten things up and giv me Duracell or Energiser power in me.
Not to mention sumtimes I feel like laughin out loud or juz reach out to the patient and shake sum sense into him. Imagine "I Want to Stay in The Hospital" right into my face. Like Hello? Are U aware of the tight bed situation? or perhaps i should respon to "Would u like to stay in a Superior Room @ Hotel 81 instead?" Room and board charges is definately cheaper there. Perhaps u would like to oogle at our nurses and jerk off at C class wards?
Almost been a year. When I started werkin @ the hospital, it was to keep an eye on my ailing mum. To convince her to resign. To protect her frm her bullish superiors. It was also to learn the ways and methods of healtcare system. I put it to good use when mum underwent treatments. Its almost a year now...
As always, every clouded day gives way to the brightest of sunshine. And yesterday I received the sweetest news. I've always believed that if I believe in sumthing hard enuff, backed wif determination and effort, there is always a way.
There is always more than one way to a destination. Its my time to Step Up. Thank you, for ur faith in me.