When darkness falls,
One muz remember not to sucumb to it. Even in the darkest night, when all the light have faded away, there can never be total darkness. Several times I marveled at the pale moonlight and the star studded sky. I do not fear the darkness. As a child, I was terrified of it. But I learned to face that fear. Now.. there is a certain, haunting beauty I find in the darkness. For in the darknest nite, away from the artificial light that surrounds us, there is surreal twilight beauty. The gentle sounds of the cricket. The cool refreshin nite air. There were times I can see fireflies. I can see the star studded sky twinkling so far away. Even the glare of the moon is so soothing to my eyes. I luv waiting for the break of dawn. Its akin to after all the pain and suffering that I endured, happiness will always find me. Darkness is negated by light. Wrong doings negated by good deeds. Sadness fading away to joy. Vice versa. Balance in all things. This is what I always remind myself everytime I'm faced with adversity. There is no perfect life.
Perhaps there is sum fortunate soul that is always happy. Always free frm all the adversity, suffering and pain. But, one must always be thankful for whatever good or bad things that cum our way.
I remembered, hearin frm syarahan, abt knwin the greater good. If u r a parent, and ur child keep wanting chocolate, u knw that too much chocolate is bad for ur kid. So would u keep givin cholocate to ur kid? Obviously not. Same wif god. Sumtimes we ask for sumthing that is perhaps, in the long run, is not beneficial to us. So, god being all knwing and almighty, do not grant us that particular thing that we seek, instead givin sumthin else instead. For our own good.
I want to believe that. I want to believe that I was once a bad person so that I knw wht bein good is all abt. Hahah.. look at me now, talkin abt god when I am not that alim good person. Heck, i dont even do regular prayers. Wht irony. Its strange really... most of the 'bad' ppl that i do knw... those into the dark life, they are religious person at heart. I mean, they could recite the verses wif such perfect clearity and tune. They knw the depth of religious knowledge. Why then did they turn into the darkness? What sad story do they hide beneath that player facade and the gruff i don't care attitude?
Life is so full of surprises. The reason why I constantly challenge myself to always look deeper into a person. Dwelve into their character and mind. Perhaps, in understanding them, I will be one step closer to finding my own answers.
I muz always remember, that there is always joy in my life. Lil notes reminding me of what I hav. I muz always look into the lil joys in life that people always overlook. Appreciating flowers and its scent. Looking at the sky, regardless if its sunny or grey. Hearing the sounds around you. These are the things that we always taken for granted. Hav u ever watched 'At First Sight'? Watch it... u'll find a whole new meaning to 'simple pleasures in life'
Simple pleasures. When was the last time I sat together to enjoy dinner wif my family? Long past time I guess. So we went for dinner at Tepak Sireh yesterday nite. Despite my fatigue, I juz went along, simply enjoyin the nite air and feasted my eyes on the sights there. I enjoyed hearing my mum n sis discussin abt the place, I even participated wif the crowd in the traditional malay dance. Though it was very akward.. I did enjoy myself. I was all stiff and do not hav any traditional malay dance experience. Cum on... I hav xposure to silat, but silat moves and dance moves are totally different ones.
On my way back though, I was in for a totally different treat. I lie on the bed, thinking abt the days that hav gone by and waiting with much anticipation for the cumin weeks. Indeed, there is never a dull moment in my life, never any bore, for it seems there is always sumthing for me to see and do. Though I luv my life, there were times that I dont... and there were times that I feel that I am indeed blessed.
