Walking away. Its typical of what most ppl would do when in trouble. Ignore the problem, dun get involved and just turn a blind eye. Hey its not my problem... why must it be mine in the 1st place? Let sumone else handle it.. let it be their problem. Perhaps if I ignore it long enough the problem will juz go away.
Well. its not tht simple. I sat alone in this darkened room, my mind reeling frm the problems fate sumhow heaped upon my family n me. An old complaint tht continues to haunt us while in a while. Its been on my mind these couple of days. Its been many days.. almost weeks in fact, tht I hav spent tryin to find the solution.
Lotsa can happen in such a short span of time. Always, things u thought u had figured it out reverts back to being an enigma. this few weeks hav shown more n more the true colours of frienship and just how deep blood runs. Family before others. The bonds of frienship. There's so many things on my mind tht I often sit alone in my dark room, eyes closed wif the events of the past few weeks replaying in my mind's eye.
What is the defination of frienship? I thought I had figured it out. I thought tht family ties are much, much more. I hav seen the consequences of neglected responsibility. Perhaps he thought tht if he can ignore his own responsibility, tht responsibility will fall on sumone else's shoulders. How irresponsible of him. How ironic.
Perhaps the reason why most ppl wont help because they too hav their own responsibilities to shoulder. Who can say tht one person hav more responsibilty than the other? How do we gauge the burden on one's shoulder? There's a sayin in malay, tht a person's responibilty is much heavier than we can see or hear, tht it is much heavier for the person who is shouldering it.
The bonds of frienship. Sum swear tht friendship is everything. Over the years, I hav seen many kinds of friendship and luv. Sum claim frienship when evrything is allrite, yet flee when the person is in dire need of help. The biggest killer of frienship is money, while the biggest killer of luv in passion is lust. Throw in hyprocrisy and backstabbing in the two and u get the recipe for hatred tht breeds distrust in others. Then the cycle goes on and on, like a domino effect.
Its sad and funny really. I hav been thru many frienship and luv relationship tht failed repeatedly. Again and again till I thought I hav grown seasoned to it. Developed ways to counter tht. Well, I was wrong. Though I was naive back then, I still make mistake. Often I would rack my brains on ways on how to help those I named as my close friends. I put words into actions.
Butthen, every once in awhile, I decided to test the bond of frienship. Sum went awol. Sum said comforting words of help... and tht is juz tht. Empty words and an emptier circle of friend. Its like if I am a cartoon character and when I said 'Help!' The crowd around me will juz go 'kaput!' and disappears in a cloud of smoke.
But I am no stranger to tht. Over the years, I hav learned time and time again to be independant and self-reliant. I get my own things done and I am used to bein by myself. Indeed... certain problems can only be solved by my own hands. Friends can only do so much. Friends... tht word sumtimes leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. And for me... word is cheap. Anyone can say this n tht.. but to back it up wif action? Hah!
I guess friendship these days means havin the good time together and disappears like the mornin dew in the sun when it cums to problems. Yep, I despise these ppl. They dun earn my respect, much less my trust.
Now though, i continue to try find the solution to my problems. Ther must be a way, a correct way tht's obscurred frm my eyes. I take things one at a time, day by day. Whatever tomorrow brings, I will meet it wif open arms and open eyes. After all, every problem is juz god's way to make me a much better person.
