There is sumthing comforting when I ride. The steady thrum of engine, the wind beating against my entire body and the sense of control and freedom. I feel like I'm almost flying, nothing holding me back. Its ironic tht I am most peaceful and ease when riding; when five years back, it almost cost me my life.
I especially luv it when my visor is up. So cool... the sound of the wind hypnotising in my ears. I can see clearly ahead... the lamposts whizzing past me... I am in control... I knw where I am going. Indeed... it can get really cold sumtimes. Especially when it rains, its like havin pins and needles being pokes all over u.
But things are totally different when u r riding at 140 onwards. Every lil things counts... like how and when u shift ur weight. Everything happens in a split second. Tht was how it used to be last time. Everytime I escape in one piece everytime i reached 150.. i feel like i'm immortal.. invincible.
Tht's what happenin nowdays. New and young riders believing tht they r the next Valentino Rossie. I was like them once. Blood full of fire.. andrenaline pumping.. always eager to push man n machine to the xtreme. There's sumthing pleasurable after u hav narrowly squezed between two obstacles... or when u hav juz successfully negotiated a particularly tight turn at high velocity. A feeling of elation... a feeling of bein lucky. Of course.. most often we'd like to believe tht it is more to incredible skill and talent rather than a healthy dose of luck. And so u always believe tht u can pull tht same stunt again and again... again n perhaps... again?
Fear. I admit tht I am afraid. Afraid everytime I pull sumthing reckless when I ride. Its stupid.. i knw tht... when I knw tht its risky to squeeze inbetween two vehicles... or throttling up and leaning into tight corners. Why izzit tht I like to temp my mortality? When I had just narrowly escaped the reaper five years ago?
It is becoz of this fear tht I retook defensive riding. So tht what happened five years ago will never happen again. Out of luv perhaps. Out of bitter regret.
How'z it feels like to hav sumone u care died because of ur actions? I once knew a friend who lost his luved one due to a motorcycle accident. Because of his recklessness and his misplaced faith in his 'amazingly confident riding techniques' He juz earned his riding licence back then. Perhaps it was his stupidy and arragance tht gt the better of him. Despite her frightful pleas, he juz opened the throttle even more. Daring and tempting whtever fate had in store for him.
And so he learned. He learned tht a machine can be repaired and brought back to life. But wht can replace flesh, blood and bone? Or a soul for tht matter? A machine hav no soul... only spare parts. Are there any spare replacement souls out there?
I remembered him handing over his keys to his bike to his friend six months after his harsh lesson. He said sumthing tht I will never forget. He told his friend the price of his lesson. That right there, is a bike tht looked totally new.. wifout any scrathes, dents whatsoever. It was as though the bike was never involved in an accident in the 1st place. But he stood there... lookin so frail and thin, leaning heavily on his crutches. He said tht sum wounds runs deeper than any cuts tht he ever received. His friend asked him wht will he do now tht she was no longer wif him. He said tht he will never ride a sportsbike again... and tht his racing and martial days now forever over. For the doc had diagnosed his crippling injuries. He will knw the meaning of pain for the rest of his life. He said tht no amount of regret can change the past... no amount of good deeds tht he performs can erase tht past. His last piece of advice was tht.... well... lets juz say tht there was a reason why god created man tht can't fly. I guess he was trying to make light of his accident. Who can understand his sorrow? God only knws...
He looked longingly at his old bike. As his friend rode off, he limped back to his house wif tears in his eyes. There were no words to describe tht moment. Perhaps he wanted to cry... to shout out loud his anguish. But he merely took a deep breath... for he knw of the dark days ahead tht's waiting for him. Everything tht he do now... hav dire repercussions. Karma it is said. No amount of actions.. good or bad, go unnoticed. The question is.. only when will he feel the repercussion. A question of when.
Its been so long. But I still do remember. I can never forget. How could I? Even now... often when alone... i still find comfort when I ride. It is not sumthing I can ever put into words. So why izzit now... when I'm not alone on tht bike... i feel a small pang of fear?
