I realized I am a solitary person.
I realized tht. I am nt the type of guy tht U will see in the middle of the party or the one bringing life and comedy in outing group.
I detest crowded and noisy places, instead I luv the soothing sounds at the beach or juz staring at wide open green places. Bright lights hurt my eyes, causing me migraines and discomfort.
Fishing. One of my most favourite moments. It is the rare times when I am at peace and tranquil. It is here tht I would reach deep within myself. Sumtimes I can see memories being flashed right before my eyes. Sumtimes I can hear the voice of those ppl tht hav gone before me.
And it is also one of the times tht I feel tht I am free. Free frm all the trials and hardships as well as the many things thts plaquing my mind. Often my frenz ask me to the reason why I hav premature white hairs... I am only 23 years old.
Looking back now... I realized tht I started havin white hair after dad passed away. I used to remember tht I will get very angry and annoyed when ppl started askin me tht question. And tht annoyance often turn to violence when their question slide into mockery.
Now... I am no longer bothered by tht question. After all, tht white hair tht I so used to detest is a mark of my age... tht I am indeed aging. After all... one glance at me and u'd think tht I'm still juz a 16 or 17 year old guy.
Besides... these white hair r signs tht only few would knw. Sum say white hair is the mark of wisdom. Sum also say tht premature white hair is the mark of a kind and gentle person. Heck... sum even say white hair is juz tht I hav too much things in my mind. Me? All I knw is juz tht... I hav lotsa white hair.
Fishing is more than juz trying to catch fish. For me... its a test of my patience and bonding wif nature. Hw many times hav I fished in the blazing sun or in the chilling rain? Its also a test of my endurance against mature nature. Besides... fishing helps to broaden my mind. I so luv to gaze at the blue sky in the day or gazing the star littered sky in the nite. Yeah... u see so much stars at nite as the fishing spot tht I always frequent is very secluded; away frm the artificial lights of the urban areas.
Its very peaceful at nite and sumtimes the day. There's no sound of vehicles or the sound of a typical bz city. All I hear is the sound of the waves crashing against the waterbreaker of the bubble like sounds like in an aquarium. Though my eyes hurt when the sun is too brights.. I luv to see the green and sumtimes blue sea water. See the gentle rythm of the waves... the great open spaces... and more importantly... the company tht I keep.
For me... itz an honour to be asked to go fishin wif me. Truth be told... I prefer to fish alone. Juz me and myself and my memories. Sumtimes I let my mind wander and imagine how its like if I were to fish wif Hazrul; especially wif my dad. He used to be a fisherman back in his bujang days. I wander wht tips he could share wif me.
Fishing... sum say its a waste of time. Sum say its a stupid way to get fish when itz so much easier... not to mention quicker to get fish frm the market. These poor fools cant see tht I dun fish juz merely to get and eat fish. Its like a stress release therapy for me. A place where shah is juz tht... shah. Not Shah DarKSidE or whtever side. Juz an ordinary guy enjoying the moment.. away frm the hustle and bustle of hectic life. Away frm all his daily worries and stress. Away frm all his sadness and loss. Juz my favourite moment of peacefulness to be shared wif special ppl.
And when the fish do bite... well.. gives credence to the saying "Good things cum to those who wait"
