"Honest luv makes one's soul a reflection of the partner's moods. -Jan. 01, 2005
And as a room seems larger when lined wif mirrors, so do the joys becum amplified.
And as the individual items in the room becums less clear and sharp, so does the pain diminish and fade, spread thin by the sharin.
That is the beauty of honest, true love, whether in passion or frenship. A sharing tht multiplies the joys and thins the pain."
In My Place... I'm Walking Away
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Faded and Blurred
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Hav u ever had one of those moments? Its like bein caught between the twilight zone and reality. I am fascinated by dreams. Researchers say tht its the mind giving ur innermost desires or ur most often thoughts physical reality. Spiritual ppl say tht its ur soul doin sum travelin. Realist say its the mind takin time off frm reality. LoL!
Me? There were times when I wished tht sweet dreams were reality.. and often sighed wif relief knwing tht nightmares were juz tht... bad dreams tht couldn't hurt me. But why izzit... tht often in my dreams I am aware tht I am in a dream? Most ppl are not able to tell themselves tht itz a dream.
Often, in my dreams... I am free. Literally free. Like peter pan... I can fly. I ride wif the wind. I can feel soaring thru the sky... or feelin the wind against my face like everytime I ride. In reality... perhaps the reason why I sumtimes ride recklessly alone. Juz to capture tht short moment of freedom. I always wanted to be free. Free from responsibilities. Free frm all my trivial problems and hardship. To be at peace and free to do the things tht i've always wanted. To be free frm conceptions and judgements.
I thought I was dreaming... wasnt I? I thought I could feel coughing my guts out. Itz been close to three days I've been without cigs. In tht three days... I've endured terrible pain wifout my usual prescription of 'painkiiler'
I thought I could hear the sound of my bike leaving me... but wait a minute? Hw could my bike leave me witout its rider still here? Oh yeah... I'm in a dream! Wake up shah!
I did wake up... didn't I? Why am i riding this straight stretch of road... I'm not supposed to be riding this cursed bike... I gav u up a long time ago!
But wht the heck... its really nice here. The cool wind... the speed. The blissful feeling of freedom @ 180 per hour. Wait... why izzit my back hurts like hell? Snap back to reality shah! Wake up!
So I did. As usual... I reached out in the darkness groping for my pack of ciggs... I'm only grappling for my mobile. Time check... great... i've fallen asleep early and now I'm up at 110 in the morning! Weird... a dream within a dream.
I was dreaming again. Tht's only natural isnt it? Dreams finds us when we slumber. Who doesnt? Can U share it wif me the technique on how to sleep without dreaming? Is my mind tht restless? Can a man find peace even when he's asleep?
I feel a gaping emtiness in me. Its cold outside. Sleep the last thing on my mind... I juz gaze the nightsky frm my bedroom window... waiting for slumber. And as always... I find myself remeniscing of the past.
