Balance in all things. The Ying & The Yang.
These few weeks has been spent cleaning up my closet and basically all aspects of my life. Ever since returning frm Sri Lanka on my relief efforts.. I can feel the changes taking over me, bof spritually, mentally and physically. I treasure and keep everything tht I feel is good, while discarding and the bad, rotten ones to where they belong.
Indeed, why rain when it can monsoon? Change is only constant. Perhaps its my mistake to be associated wif ppl called YPs and possers, pretending to be sumthing tht they r not and basically juz askin.. no begging for attention. Its funny. Ppl hav eyes but couldn't see. Hav mentally faculties but didn't use it. And always for the wrong means.
I am not a perfect person. Neither am I the smartest nor the strongest. Neither do I hav all the answers. But one thing I do knw, tht I am constantly learning and emulating role models tht r good. Hav u ever heard the saying in malay? Yang baik dicontohi, yang buruk DIJAUHI? Layman terms.. Follow the good examples and distance urself frm the unworthy and rotten.
As once Zam, my bro and early mentor advised me, "Shah, do u knw the meaning of frenship? Its more than juz havin plain, good ole fun 2gether. Its more than juz bein ther for ur fren in times of need. The measure of a fren is mutual respect. Respect a good advice when u hear one and follows it. And the matured mentality to do the RIGHT thing. Age is not a measure of maturity. Its the hardship he had endured and the means of how tht person overcum it. Wht for u keep a friend whose full of hypocrisy and doin things tht u advised NOT doin? Tht 'frend' will cause u nothing but anger, pain and disappointment. Best leave this type of ppl, alone. Let them dig their own grave. U deserve better than havin these type of ppl arnd u. They don't deserve a fren like ur caliber."
Armed wif the wisdom my bro and mentor had imparted, I started weeding out the unworthy. Yes, I hav many acquintances frm all waltz of life. But close frenz.. only a handful. I'd rather hav a handfull beside me when I am in need, rather than to hav a 1000 frenz only to find no ONE beside me when I need them.
Time and time again I found my mentor's wisdom to be true. Now I no longer feel so much remorse and disappointment. For I know who my frenz and luved ones are. They are indeed special ppl tht deserve the honour to be called a fren. And more.
DarKSidE. I hav always let my would be frenz knw the nature of my past. Let the worst stare them into their eyes to see if they run away. If they hav the mental maturity, they can appreciate and empathise wht i hav been thru, and let their xpecience wif me be the judge. For they will see tht everything is NOT always wht it seem. For the weakest light shines all the brighter in the darkest of darkness.
Its funny. Ppl always claim to be sumthing they r not. False angel. Perhaps this type of ppl REALLY need to look themselves in the mirror. But like another malay sayin "Jgn mencerminkan diri di air yang keruh." Neh, these type of ppl NEVER learns. I hav so much things to do and so lil time than to waste my breath explainin myself the WHY, BECOZ and WHEN. They are their own worst punisher.
I am, and will always be Shah DarKSidE. I never deny tht. I embrace it. And only a select few will ever appreciate my self integrity and honour. For I am only human.
The guy sat, alll alone at the void deck, a lighted cigratte in hand starring at his bloved bike. His old bike, not the new one. He knws dat sooner or later, he has to put her away into storage. But he remembered all that they hav gone thru 2gether. He reflected back, remembered wht he had done. All the good things. He no longer help those who don't asked or wished to be helped. Never again. Now he only helps those whom he thinks are worthy. And distancing himself frm the rest.
"God... if I'm truly in the wrong, show me the error of my ways so that I may learn to be a better person so tht history never again repeats itself. But if I were in the right, pls then show tht person their error in the only way u knw wht's best for them. Amin."
